Confessions, Part II

This is an actual post, but I just wanted to say something before I gave it to you. Over the weekend, I was able to go see the Broadway musical Wicked. And it. was. amazing. Seriously, if you're into musicals, and you ever get a chance to go see that one, then take it. You won't regret it. Incredible. But anyway, here's the next "chapter!" hah. Enjoy this as much as I enjoyed Wicked!

I let Jenna lead me to a table in her favorite café, and sat down in silence. I knew Jenna had picked up a menu and was talking to the waitress, ordering water for me and an iced tea for herself. I tried to stare out the window, and I didn’t turn to my friend when I felt her eyes searching my face. I was beginning to regret asking Jen to lunch. Normally, I immediately go to her with all of my boy problems or embarrassing situations. But this time, I knew I had messed up badly. I was so ashamed. I felt myself shrinking under her gaze.

“Oh my God, you did something awful. What was it!?”

I sank lower in my seat, not wanting to answer. Luckily, the waitress somehow heard my silent screams and brought the drinks to our table. She quickly took our orders and left Jenna and me alone again.

“Kayla, if you don’t tell me, I swear I’ll…”

“Okay, okay,” I sighed. “No reason to get all dramatic.” She smirked, but waited for me to continue. “I’m…” I began, unable to complete my sentence. My mouth dried up and my brain instantly started thinking of other things, as if it was trying to make me forget. I swallowed loudly and pressed forward. “Gosh, okay. I’m pregnant.”

Her eyes lit up and she clapped her hands together. “Oh! Kayla, I’m so happy for you! You and Evan are going to be excellent parents! Now, when’s the baby shower? I’ve got so much PLANNING to do! This is so exciting!” She continued to babble on about something virtually meaningless, and I was glad that the news of the baby had pushed any thought that something was wrong out of her mind. Maybe I won’t have to reveal what a horrible person I am. “Wait a sec,” she interrupted my thoughts. “Why is that a bad thing?”

I groaned. Damnit, Jenna. “Um, you know my mom is gonna kill me when she finds out.”

Her eyes immediately formed little slits. “Is that all?” she asked accusingly.

“Ye--”

“No it’s not. What’s the problem?”

“What? Ye-yes it is.”

“Kayla, I know you.” Ughhhhh. Fine, I’ll just tell her. She’s my best friend, she’ll understand. Right? Deep breath…

“I don’t know who the father is.”

The waitress brought our food at that moment, and I was glad for the interruption of the silence surrounding our table. I immediately dove into my BLT wrap, occasionally sneaking glances at Jenna. The shocked expression didn’t leave her face for what felt like an hour. When I popped open my bag of barbecue potato chips, the crinkling sound seemed to wake her up. I sheepishly looked back down at my food, but I felt her eyes searching my face for any shred of what I just said being a lie.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN--”

“Shut up!” I hissed. She looked around the café and silently apologized for her shouting. Unfortunately, she turned back to me to finish her statement.

“What the hell do you mean you don’t know who the father is!? Who else could it be?” Instead of answering, I turned my attention to the slowly decreasing amount of potato chips on my plate. I heard a sharp gasp, and knew Jenna had figured it out. “Noooooo. No no no no no. No! Kayla, how could you? What were you thinking!?”

“I wasn’t thinking. That’s the problem. If I’m actually able to think about right and wrong when he enters my life, then I wouldn’t be in this situation! I mean, what am I supposed to do? This is the worst thing I’ve ever done in my entire life!” I snuck a glance at Jenna’s face and saw her features soften. But they immediately snapped back into the angry expression she wore a few seconds ago.

“What, do you want my sympathy? You want me to feel sorry for you and hide this from Evan? He’s my cousin for God’s sake, Kayla! Why the hell would you come to me with this?”

She was right. I knew I shouldn’t be telling her the second after I asked her out for lunch. But I didn’t have a choice. I don’t have a lot of really close friends, and the few I did were also Evan’s best friends. Plus, none of them are really good at the advice thing or telling me in the sweetest way what an idiot I am. But Jenna is.

“Yeah, but you’re also my best friend. This is probably a mistake, and I wouldn’t blame you if you want to go tell Evan, but I just need help. I don’t know what else to do.”

She stared at me for a while, and then I saw her roll her eyes. Great.

“God, don’t cry.” I hadn’t even noticed, but tears were freely falling down my cheeks. I’m not usually this emotional, but I’m pregnant! Hormones, right? I started laughing at that point, realizing that I’d finally wore her down.

“Fine, I’ll help you. Just start from the beginning.”