No Woman No Cry

Sorry for the lack of post yesterday, guys. I had classes all day and then went to my brother's high school musical. They performed Seussical, which was pretty good. Of course, after seeing Wicked last week, anything would pale in comparison, but I was pretty impressed with them. But anyway, today's post is super long to make it up to you (:

As much as I love Evan, I think I’m kind of looking forward to my night alone. I’m the type of person who needs a little “me” time every once in a while, and even though Evan and I don’t live together, he comes over every night. Which never was a problem, until just now when I realized that I occasionally need some time to myself. Especially now, with all this drama going on.

I struggled to my front door and somehow managed to put my key in the lock. For some reason, even though I have the most gigantic purse you’ll ever see, I always have a million things to carry inside. I hip-checked my door shut and threw my purse, keys, cell phone, and various odds and ends onto my coffee table. Before settling into my large couch, I stopped in the kitchen for some toasty hot chocolate and grabbed my Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy. I was all set to spend the night watching Johnny Depp’s smoldering body drunkenly stumble across a pirate ship, but my friends had other ideas.

Just before Will and Jack began their intense (and sexy) swordfight, Jenna slammed my front door open and kicked her heels into the living room. “God, I hate wearing heels. Like I even need to be taller, am I right?” she shouted before digging through my fridge. I rolled my eyes, realizing that I‘d never get the time to watch dear Johnny on my beautiful plasma screen. Of course, this was my own fault. I should never have given my friends keys to my place. Rookie mistake.

“What are you doing?” she asked between sips of Diet Coke.

“Um, using up my well-earned Mikayla time. So, you can either shut up and watch this with me, or leave. Whichever.”

She stared at me for a few seconds before rushing off to my bedroom. I ignored her and turned my attention back to the screen. Dang Jenna, the swordfight is over. She made me miss the best part. I was about to rewind when some flying purple blob attacked me. “What the heck!?” I exclaimed, before taking the fabric off my head. My slinky halter top. I was about to turn to find out where it came from just as a pair of dark skinny jeans hit me in the face. “Um, ow? Jenna, what are you--”

“Don’t make me throw the shoes, too,” she threatened. I stood up and walked over to my bedroom to find Jenna hunched into my closet. “Your heel collection is despicable. Don’t tell me we’ll have to stop by my place before we go out. I mean, seriously! Why don’t you have any? You’re the one that needs them the most, shorty.” I let the height joke slide and asked her what was going on. “Obviously we’re going out. Now go change, I told Hayden we’d pick him up.”

“Hayden? Why is he coming?” Usually when Jenna demanded I go clubbing with her, it’s a girls’ night out sort of thing.

She rolled her eyes. “Ugh, he’s been so annoying since Chelsea moved away. It’s driving me crazy.” I stifled a laugh. Jenna had little patience for guy problems. When I needed her help, she was all ears. But men’s problems were always “stupid and didn’t make sense,” so she hardly ever troubled herself with them. The majority of her “relationships” didn’t last longer than a couple of weeks. She says that the first few weeks are just a fun, “I’m so happy we’re dating” phase. After that, the guys get all clingy and their issues just waterfall out of them until she feels like she’s drowning. So she always cleverly ends it before the problem arises.

Suddenly remembering my previous plans of falling asleep on my couch to “I’m Captain Jack Sparrow, mate,” I started complaining. But Jenna quickly shut me up.

“He said he’d only go out if you came, so you have to tag along. Come on, we both know you’re going to do it. Hayden’s your best friend. So just hurry up and chaaaaaaange,” she whined. Jenna has the obnoxious ability to make me do anything. And she’s right about the fact that I’m eventually going to go along anyway. Hayden had been my best friend since college, and he was slowly withering away since his girlfriend left. I sighed and kicked Jenna out of my room.

Shivering in the cold, I quickly made my way to Hayden’s front door. Winter is the most ridiculous time to dive into clubs and bars. Too bad no one’s been able to make the turtleneck sexy. I’d be all over that in a heartbeat. After probably my fiftieth knock, the door opened and I rushed inside. “Finally! It’s freezing out there! You better be happy that I put on these obnoxiously tight clothes to go pick up chicks with you.”

He sort of laughed. Hayden is hardly ever in relationships, but when he is, he falls hard. And he always turns into an absolute wreck when they end. I sighed when I noticed the blanket wrapped tightly around his body. “Ugh, I thought you said you’d be ready. Come on, I’ll get you some clothes,” I mumbled, leading him to his bedroom. “Now, we need to find something at least mildly attractive. Where’s that light blue button-up?”

“You mean.. this button-up?” he asked, ripping off his blanket. Underneath, he wore dark-washed jeans, shiny black shoes, and that sexy blue button-up I was searching for. Then I noticed his shining teeth and perfectly styled hair.

“Wow, Hayden. You’re looking kind of… hot.”

“Obvious, but appreciated,” he smiled, offering his arm to me. We got into Jenna’s car, where she looked him up and down.

“Finally, I won’t be the only attractive one in our group,” she said with a smile before driving off.

We pulled up to this cheesy-looking club called “The Sip,” and flashed our IDs to the bouncer before walking in. Jenna instantly strutted towards the bar, while Hayden and I hung back, letting the atmosphere sink in. There are neon lights everywhere and big, plastic bubbles hanging from the ceiling. Immediately down the stairs stood the bar, and to the right of that sat one of those old disco dance floors. However, the people dancing on it are doing some moves that I only thought were allowed in mass orgies. And then I noticed: the whole club is crawling with… teenagers. I looked over at Hayden, and his wide eyes appeared just as shocked as I felt. We finally gained our composure and pushed our way through the crowds to Jenna. “What the heck?” I asked her, looking over the kids, open-mouthed and angry.

“What?” she asked innocently, taking a sip of her martini.

“Why are we in a kiddie club!?” I almost shouted, but kept my composure. Normally, I wouldn’t have been so angry. Jenna does weird stuff like this all the time. But tonight is different. I had fully intended on spending my night with Johnny Depp, and she interrupted it to bring me here? Hayden stood by my side, silently agreeing. He isn’t really big on confrontation, but he always makes it known whose side he’s on. A couple of possible sixteen year olds rushed past, almost spilling their beers all over me. “I feel like I’m in a McDonald’s Playplace.”

She looked a little sympathetic, but the majority of that emotion was masked by her wandering eyes toward the dance floor. “Sorry, Kayla. But I really need a new boy toy.”

“I thought this night was about Hayden,” I countered, crossing my arms.

“Noooo, this night is about getting Hayden out of the house. We’ve already done that, so now it’s time to find my prey,” she said with a smirk and headed off toward a group of younger guys. I rolled my eyes and dragged Hayden to a secluded booth.

“I can’t believe she did this. I’m so sorry, Hayden.”

He looked at me with a puzzled expression. “You can’t believe this? Come on, Kayla. It’s Jenna.” He had a point. “Besides, she’s right. She did manage to get me out of the house, and this ridiculous place has so far been successful at keeping my mind off of Chels.” I guess I should give Jenna more credit than I did before. Even though she basically used this night to her advantage, she somehow did it with the best intentions. You can’t honestly say that she’s a bad friend. Just then, Hayden sighed. “Well, she’s been off my mind until I said her name.” Chelsea is Hayden’s latest girlfriend. They’re actually still dating, but she moved across the country to continue her degree. The separation is killing him.

“I know she’s been kind of MIA for the past few weeks, but she’s obviously busy. You should be proud. Your girlfriend’s gonna be a STAR.” He chuckled softly. “Have you talked to her lately?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “A few hours ago.” I smiled for a moment, until he continued. “She broke up with me.”

My eyes grew wide and my hand immediately shot out to grab his. “Oh my gosh, what!? No! What happened?”

“She says the distance is too hard. Besides, she’s in a new place, and doesn’t want to tie herself down to a guy she never sees anymore. It would be too tempting to cheat. She was only thinking of me,” he recited. Inside, I began fuming. That’s the most ridiculous excuse I’ve ever heard. She’s probably already cheating on him, and doesn’t want the guilt that comes with it hanging over her head any longer.

“Hayden, I’m so sorry. You should have called me…”

“Please,” he scoffed. “I knew Evan had to work. I figured you’d be holed up in your room, watching movies featuring some hot actor.” I couldn‘t hold back my giggles. He knew me so well.

“Well, you still should have called me. Kiera Knightly’s in the movies, too. We could have been turned on together!”

“Ahh, so it was Pirates night,” he laughed. Yay, my best friend is coming back. It’s been way too long.

We continued to talk about supremely attractive movie stars when a set of keys landed on the table between us. I looked up to find Jenna with some probably-underage male. “Drive yourselves home. I’m going out with Trey,” she explained, gesturing to the teenager beside her.

He nodded to Hayden and uttered a “’Sup homie?” Hayden and I turned to each other and began laughing. Jenna groaned and told Trey to get his car.

“Could you guys be civilized for one second, please?”

“Us?” I choked out between giggles. “You’re the one dating a kid. Jenna, I thought I warned you about the illegality of going out with minors.”

“He’s nineteen, thank you,” she smirked. Hayden began a new round of laughter. Jenna rolled her eyes and got up from the booth, shouting “I know you’d kill me if I went any younger than that!”

When we managed to catch our breath, Hayden muttered, “When is that girl going to get someone her own age?”

Jenna is, in all essence, a cougar. Except for the age factor. She’s only 25, but always goes after men much younger than that. She says that guys our age are looking for something real and meaningful, but she just wants to have fun. And the older she got, the younger she’d go after. “I can’t WAIT until I’m forty and dating eighteen-year-olds. Seriously, I’m going to be the most disturbing woman in my neighborhood.” The funny thing is, I don’t see a problem with it. Normally, I’d be disgusted by a woman going after someone so much younger, but it just fits Jenna’s personality. It’s just… like her.

“Jenna?” I replied. “Never.”